TechgnosisWeb Prime

You know, with all the hullabaloo about crazy old coots making incoherent threats in my general direction, it’s all too easy to forget about the important real life things that happen. So I want to take a moment away from all that and say goodbye to Blue, who left us yesterday.

Who’s Blue? She was one of our pet rats, the second one we got, after Yuki. Soon after we realized that Yuki was an antisocial little bastard (may he rest in peace), we decided to go ahead and get a real pet, instead of something that was just going to sit in a cage and glare at us. So, after a bit of searching, we finally found a pet shop that sold rats. We went into the dingy, dirty back room where he kept the poor creatures, and that’s where we first saw Blue. There were easily a couple dozen rats crammed into that little cage, the guy obviously sold them as food for snakes, not as pets on their own merits. Most of the animals in the cage were either sick or starving, and either huddled, frightened, in the far corners, or slept and ignored us. But not Blue. She stood out from the bunch, with her sleek dark brown/dark gray fur, sharp dark eyes, and attentiveness. While most of the rats in the cage shied away from us, Blue came right up to the bars, sniffing at us curiously. The decision was immediate: she was the one. We took her home that day, and never regretted the decision.

Blue always did remain a little wild, a little untamed, but she came to trust us quickly. In fact, she became a little too fond of us, often staying up all night and day just watching us, looking for attention, trying to get us to pick her up so she could crawl on our shoulders. We never did figure out what fascinated her so about perching on our shoulders, but she would do just about anything to get up there.

Of all the girls, Blue was easily the most active, most inquisitive, most attentive one. Everyone who saw her, even people who weren’t ‘rat people’, always commented on what a beautiful animal she was. It’s pretty clear she was one of our favorites, and she earned it.

Unfortunately, despite her energy, she was always a little sickly, sneezing a lot. We took her to the vet once or twice (where she showed her particular personality by desperately trying to jump off the examination table and onto Natalie’s shoulder, as well as taking a bite out of the vet. To his credit, he didn’t even consider feeding her to the bulldog in the next room.) Despite all this, she grew older over time, and eventually her body’s defenses started failing her. The day before yesterday, we saw her gasping for breath. She was suffering from an acute respiratory attack, and could barely breathe. Despite that, she still kept trying to run around on the wheel in her cage, climbing the walls, trying to play with the other girls.. She always was a stubborn little thing. As soon as we could, we took her back to the vet, where he gave her a dose of antibiotics and treated her for dehydration. We brought her back home, hoping for the best, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. We put her into a separate cage, as the vet told us to quarantine her, and kept an eye on her. She followed us as we moved around the room, desperately trying to get to us.

Frankly, remembering it is heartbreaking. We picked her up, tried to comfort her.. You could see her eyes tearing up, she was honestly terrified. The poor thing was barely able to breathe, she was scared witless.. and in her terror, she didn’t try to hide or run, instead, she was almost desperate in her attempts to get to us, to get us to hold her, to snuggle into our touch, seeking warmth, companionship, and help. She came to us for comfort and help.. Unfortunately, as much as we tried, it wasn’t enough. She didn’t last the night.

We buried her in the backyard, and I wasn’t even able to say a real goodbye. There are people who will never understand how someone can become so emotionally attached to a tiny little animal like a rat. These people are dead inside, and I have nothing to say to them. For the rest, who know that one can form a true bond with any creature that you share your life with, and who have felt the kind of unconditional devotion that they give us, and that they deserve from us in return, I think you will understand. You’ll understand why it was that, when I picked up her body to put it into the little box that we buried her in, and I felt her little claws snagging on my shirt, my heart flipped over in my chest. Because, for an endless, painful second, I though she was alive after all, and she was trying to hold on to me again, and I’m not ashamed to say I cried my eyes out as I was forced to realize all over again that she really was gone, and I put her in the box.

Goodbye, Blue. There will always be a spot on my shoulder just for you. I miss you terribly.