After my little thanksgiving speech, I received a couple of comments, and one of them, from my friend, Jose, stated that he wished I wouldn’t slam religion so much. I started composing a reply, and halfway through it I realized that this is something that I haven’t talked completely about on this blog before, and maybe it’s something I should share with everyone, if only so that you can understand a little better where I’m coming from and why I’ve come to the point of view I now hold.
Now, if your religious beliefs give you strenght and comfort, then that’s great, for you, and I’m actually happy for you. But in my life, religion has been almost universally a negative force. Religious differences tore my family apart in many ways, and I’m not just talking about my own teenage rebellion against the ‘Fuente de Agua Viva’ folks. My mother and my grandparents barely spoke for years over the fact that they were catholic and my mom was an evangelical. Then, later on, those same grandparents drifted apart to the point where they barely spoke to each other over the fact that my grandfather became obsessed with the ‘Virgen del Pozo’ thing, to the point where he became one of those crazy old coots that stands out in the town square with a bullhorn telling us all how we must repent or die.
Meanwhile, my mom’s religious fundamentalist beliefs led her to basically have 3 ‘exorcisms’ performed on me, simply because I did not agree with her beliefs. These were not pleasant, and, frankly, could be considered child abuse. I was physically restrained, pushed down, shouted at from inches away, terrorized, threatened, and all but beaten by these ‘holy’ people, not once, but on three different occasions. This caused me to basically want to leave the house and the island as soon as I possibly could, and probably changed the course of my life for the worse, as I made many decisions soon after turning 18 that were based solely on the desire to stay away from these people. I’m still paying for the results of some of those decisions today.
On my father’s side, he had become estranged with his own parents soon after marrying my mom, also for religious reasons. My grandparents on my father’s side are Mita, and my mother was a catholic at the time. My father converted to catholicism for her, which caused a rift between him and his parents that took many years to begin to heal. Years later, and one of the main reasons for the divorce was my mother’s conversion to evangelical christianity, while my father remained a catholic. After the divorce, he sought comfort in the church that he had dedicated over 15 years to, only to be told that he was now persona non-grata because of his divorced status: no communion, the highest sacrament of the catholic church, for him. This caused him a lot of pain, and he pulled away from the church.. but seeking other beleifs to cling to. Unfortunately, he fell straight into a lot of New Age bull, and lost quite a bit of money on ‘psychics’, ‘aura readers’. and other sorts of crap. It wasn’t until he took me once to an ‘aura reader’ and the guy told him that I had a ’special purple aura’ and was destined to be a ‘great spiritual leader’, and that he would take me under his wing and train me for only several thousand dollars a month, that he started to realize that it’s all one big scam. By then, though, a lot of damage had been done. These days, his point of view is closer to mine, though where I am an atheist, he’s more of an agnostic.
There are more examples, but I think you get the main gist of it. At least in my life, and in my family, religion and religious differences have been pretty much a completely negative force. And for some years, this was a serious problem for me: I had been raised to beleive that religion was neccesary to be ‘complete’, but every religion I had been exposed to was negative.. and as I tried to find other alternative religions to cling to, I found that they were all pretty much the same thing in that sense. And that is why I am grateful to have discovered, after years of searching, that I don’t need religion or superstition or belief in anything supernatural to be happy. Life itself, the world around me, the people I share my life with, the things I do, for myself and for others, all that is enough. I can live a complete and happy life without the attachment, dogma, irrationality and intolerance that religion breeds. And, to me, this is something to celebrate and be grateful and happy for.
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