Just how sick am I?
… apparently, not terribly sick at all. So, I claimed a few days ago to be putting together a post on the aftermath of my doctor’s visit, and apparently, when I say ‘tomorrow’, I actually mean ’several days from now, maybe’. 
Let’s get down to it, then so I can get back to ranting about geeky things:
The test results came in, I sat for about 8 hours waiting for the doctor to pay attention to me. Luckily, technology kept me from going insane: I listened to a few podcasts on the iPod, watched all of Corpse Bride on Glitch, caught up on my RSS feeds on Glitch too, used the Katsuphone to check my mail, and even played a couple of games on my GBA using the Flash cart. Finally, just as the batteries were starting to give up on my varied and sundry electronics, the doctor called me into her office. She took a look at my tests results and gave me a mix of good news and bad news. The good news? I’m apparently healthy as a horse. My blood pressure levels are excellent, my cholesterol levels are fabulous with the ‘bad’ cholesterol levels pretty low and the ‘good’ cholesterol levels at a nice number. Everything else from the test showed completely normal levels, or even better than normal. As for my thryoid levels, which were the main worry here, they were also completely normal, so it turns out that there’s nothing wrong with my thyroid after all.. at least, nothing in the levels of hormones and such that they pump out.
The bad news? I’m healthy as a horse. Therefore, I can’t blame my being overweight and my general lack of energy on any thyroid issues. Looks like I’m just a lazy-assed bum, and if I want to get back to the slim(esque) physique of my younger years, it’s a matter of getting off my ass and doing some excercise.
So what’s next? Well, test results notwithstanding, I still have a weird lump on my neck where my thyroid gland is, so that needs to be dealt with. In order to figure out what we’re dealing with here, the doctor ordered a test that’s comic-book-esque in nature: I am to drink some sort of radioactive liquid, and then my body is to be bombarded with additional radiation (whether it’s gamma rays or the more potent ‘cosmic’ rays, I don’t know yet) . She claims this will allow them to determine if the lump on my neck is ‘hot’ or ‘cold’, and what needs to be done from there. Frankly, I think that test is more likely to give me superpowers than anything else.
I just want to point out, right now, that I make absolutely no promises about using my new powers solely for good.
Technorati Tags: sick, doctor, blood pressure, cholesterol, thryoid, bum, radiation
February 6th, 2006 at 1:41 am
Here’s hoping you get Supermanesque X-Ray vision! Take pr0n with you everywhere you go.
February 6th, 2006 at 10:11 am
So all this time you thought you had a thyroid problem…you were just fat?
Looks like you got pwned by your doctor, dude. XD
February 6th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Ah, the news no one ver wants to hear form doctors. . .I often wonder which is worse: “You have soemthing horrible!” or “I don’t think you ahve anything!”…ARGH.
Still, don’t despair, the lumpy thing could still be BAD. And, as for the test: the darling ex and soon to be actual BF just had several of those done as part fo his end of military service thing, and it’s not that bad. He’s ahd worse….like the one where they gave him the massivesly gaseous mixture but told him not to burp, that they needed to image his distended internal organs as they inflated…..
February 7th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Heh.. yeah. Diagnosis: lazy and out of shape.
We’ll see what the Nucular (thanks, George!) tests determine later in the month, tho.
So, who wants to buy me a gym membership? I promise to use it at least once.
February 7th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
I’d tell you to burn off the fat by fucking, but the fact of the matter is that sex hardly cuts it as exercise, or so I’ve heard various doctors and nutritionists say. Seems you have to fuck beyond the very End of Days for it to really work.
But, hey: we’ll get you a wig so you can go exerxising with Penguin Regina at her girls-only gym.
La barba no será problema alguno, cabrón, siempre y cuando uses una redecilla con lycras y tengas una bolsa de Pueblo en tus manos.
February 7th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
*exercising
February 7th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
…sex hardly cuts it as exercise…
Unless you’re doing it right!
Ba-da-bing!
Thank you, folks, I’ll be here all night! Be sure to tip your waiter!
… so, yeah, I gotta get to excercising again. I might hit up the DDR at home, and actually try to stick with it this time. I actually kind of like excercising, to be truthful.. my main problem is the temperature, when it’s hot, I can’t get myself to move. But I can excercise in air-conditioned comfort, no problem.. let’s see how I solve that little dilemma for myself.
February 27th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
The procedure’s not so bad. But you lose a whole day at it just waiting around, and it *sucks*. Then they put you in this big machine and stick this camera into your neck, and they tell you you can’t move. The technician then disappears and leaves you alone trapped between the stretcher and the camera. Just a *tad* claustrophobic. I didn’t know it at the time, but the technician left to take the pictures, but if she’d only tell you, instead of leaving you squirming there…
It’s an annoying procedure. But it’s not so bad.
February 27th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Actually, I just went through it *today*, this morning. Had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to be there, but it was worth it ’cause I was the first in line. Got it done and was back home in an hour. The only truly annoying part was having to sit still while they took the pics, since you *know* your nose starts itching the moment they tell you not to move.